See, when I was little, society taught me that good girls never ask for too much. So I became an expert at accepting less.

I stayed in relationships where it was best to pretend I had no needs…

I couldn’t set boundaries at work, and would willingly sacrifice free time to keep bosses happy…

I was afraid to have an opinion for fear that someone I loved might disagree…

I made what our culture thought about my body more important than my own hunger.

Decades deep into worshiping this kind of thinking, I hit a place I can only describe as rock bottom. I found myself on the kitchen floor (ironic for someone with an ed), amidst an earth-shattering breakup, terrified that my partner would leave because I asked for too much. 

And he did.

But then I realized something. All of a sudden I saw it so clearly: Women, everywhere, have been suppressing and swallowing our needs for generations. Sometimes we do it for so long we nearly disappear. 

So, in the depths of my crippling grief, not knowing what to do, I did the exact opposite of my usual instinct. Instead of shrinking back into asking for less, I began asking for more. Everywhere.

For the first time in a long time, I started to trust my own appetite, not just for food, but for life. Instead of believing in him and his needs, I remembered how to believe in myself.

I believe our needs are sacred. There is something both beautiful and radical in asking for the fullness of what we need. Because to ask, is to speak up and stand up for ourselves. 

To dare to say to the world: “I’m worth something. I am valuable.” This is the voice to listen to. This is YOU.

Today, I speak at universities and fortune 500 companies across the country, inspiring women to find the courage and empowerment to express the fullness of what they want.